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How to bypass the Odd-Even rule in Delhi

VipraDialogues | April 19, 2016 | 635  Views
How to bypass the Odd-Even rule in Delhi

We Indians are the masters, in the craft of formulating excuses. No law can ever be implemented, for which loopholes are not already worked out by the masterminds. You regulate the share market, we have a Harshad Mehta; you tighten the noose around the taxes, we’ll go Panama; you try to push your ambitious Odd-Even rule scheme down our throats, well… Haven’t really worked out a way around that yet, have we? Alright, let’s try and think of some excuses, so that the next time you dare out in your even numbered car on an odd date and that traffic cop catches you, you know what to say and how to wriggle out of the situation. Below are some of the time-tested excuses we’ve thought of; and since most of them border around and sometimes even cross over to the side of being against the law, it’s only fair that start with a disclaimer: Do not try it at home, or office, or your in-laws place, or anywhere for that matter.But then again, since when have us Dilli-wallahs started listening to advices?!

Throw a name

We Dilli-wallahs are born with an innate habit of name-throwing. If ever there was a contest for judging our favourite question, irrespective of our caste, color or creed, undoubtedly it would be, ‘Tu jaanta hai main kaun hu?’ Call it what you will, it’s nothing but convenient amnesia. But who cares, right? If the hat fits…

Change your number

Before going any further, do read the disclaimer above, once again. Done? Alright then; how much does getting a new number plate cost? 200? 300? It’s still cheaper than 20,000 for a CNG kit and another 3000 for its sticker. Just change the last digit to even if you already have an odd, or vice versa. It takes just 5 minutes to unscrew one and screw in the other one. Life’s sorted.

Change your sex

No, wait a minute, we don’t mean it literally. But, since AAP Dilli-ki-sarkar thinks that women do not pollute while driving the same car as their male counterparts, there’s no harm in posing as one, right? All you need is a burqa, a hijab; put it on and drive away. The only precaution you need to take in this one is to drive like a lady, if you know what we mean…

Make a kid

Don’t get all excited. Once again, we don’t mean it literally. Being the considerate Aam Admi ki government, Kejriwal sarkar has exempted parents carrying their children to school, from the odd-even scheme. The only condition is that the kid needs to be present inside the car, and that too wearing the school uniform. It’s an excellent opportunity to show off the good Samaritan in you. Just go to your neighbour you haven’t talked to in ages, and volunteer to drop his kid to school. In case you are one of those really unlucky ones and don’t have a neighbour with a school going kid, just grab anyone’s kid from the street and put him in the car with you. And in case you’re wondering how will you drive back AFTER dropping him to school, just don’t. Carry him with you throughout the day, treat him to a fancy lunch at McDonald’s, and take him back to his place in the evening.

Medical emergency

This one has got a better chance of working than any other. Carry a bottle of ketchup in your car, and the moment you see the cop flagging you down, just smear some on your hand, forehead, shirt, wherever you feel comfortable. The only prerequisite is being a damn good actor. Think of pain, distress, house-loan, your wife…whatever brings tears to your eyes. It’s the duty of every police man to make sure that a person in need of medical emergency gets one at the earliest. You’ll have to make sure that your acting is not so convincing, that the cop puts you in his car and takes you to AIIMS himself. Game over, boss!

What better way to beat the system, than to pose as the one himself who made it?! An untucked, half-sleeved check shirt, Nehru-cap (ironical that it’s called that), a woollen scarf or a muffler, and an ill-fitting grandfather glasses; that’s all you need to pose as the original copy of the Mukhyamantri himself. Precaution to take: Master the two arts, of copying his desi thulla-wallah lingo, and to dodge an incoming shoe missile.

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So, here’s our list. Think you can add something to it? Do write to us in the ‘Comment’ column below, and we might just do a sequel to the article in ‘Odd-even part 3’. Scary thought, right?


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