8 WORST BOLLYWOOD MOVIES YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY WATCH
We think we deserve the Pulitzer for compiling this list. Why, you ask? Can you imagine sitting and watching all these bloopers and many more, just so we can give you the top 8 of the worst movies ever made in Bollywood? Most of these gave us brain freeze; you know, the feeling you get when you consume too much ice in one go. Yeah, that. But I must confess, after a certain amount of time you start to enjoy these. I mean, it’s not a sudden changeover or something, but more like a gradual turn-around, a gentle conversion. You start with pulling your hair and slapping your cheek. In the next step, the pulling of hair changes to light rubbing of the head, and slapping the cheek to massaging it (more so because it’s swollen red by that time). After a while, you start concentrating on the dialogues and the expressions of the actor. The last stage soon fades in, when you actually start laughing at the bloops. It’s only a day later that you get back to slapping your face again. Why, oh why did I watch those?
Anyhow, here is the list. We are sure you would have watched at least a few of these already, so you’ll be able to relate to our current mental state better.
1) R.G.V. Ki AAG:
Ask me why we have included this movie here and that too at the very top, and we shall send you the number of a good psychiatric, on the Whatsapp. Who in his right frame of mind would dare to remake one of the most iconic movies like Sholay, and turn it into the worst joke ever? Oh, right! It’s Ram Gopal Verma.
2) HIMMATWALA (1983 and 2013):
Who says the creativity is dead in the modern cinema? Do you even realize how much talent it takes to pick up a 30 years-old shitty movie and remake it into something far more worse? Kudos, to Sajid Khan! He did a remake of the 1983 Jitendra starrer Himmatwala, and turned it into a stinking raggabrash.
We don’t really blame you for not having heard of this one before. But, we are sure you would have heard of the man who made this. Remember the Rs 2 man? Yeah, this is a Rs 2 film from the Rs 2 man himself, the Fugly, Kamaal R. Khan a.k.a. KRK. Y rey, KRK?
4) CHINA GATE:
If there ever was an award for the worst film made with the finest of actors, China Gate would have won it hands down, repeatedly, year after year, unanimously…We think you got the drift, right? The best thing about the movie was the ‘Chamma Chamma’ song, and the actor Mukesh Tiwari. Why? Well, because he eats Kutta and drinks Lomdi ka doodh. Bon appetit!
This is the movie with which Kareena Kapoor (now Khan) started the evil trend of size-zero, and made millions of girls around the world loath themselves. Apparently, the box office collection of the movie, we believe, was also around the same figure.
I must confess, I like Rahul Roy, and he was the reason I had to watch this movie, again. Yeah, it takes a while to sink in (and to make the head and tail of the movie). Take this, the hero, on every full-moon night, turns into… wait for it… wait for it… a tiger. You read that right, a full blown tiger. The only saving grace, Rahul Roy looks better than Robert Pattinson. If only Pooja Bhatt was anything close to Kristen Stewart!
Remember Leonardo DiCaprio and Toby Maguire in The Great Gatsby? Okay, now try to imagine Himesh Reshammiya and Yo Yo Honey Singh in their places. Still not convinced? Let us give you one of Himesh’s dialogues from the movie. ‘Tere shareer mein itna khoon nahi hoga jitna Ravi Kumar ek baar mein moot deta hai’. BTW, Ravi Kumar is Himesh’s character in the movie, should you not have guessed already.
8) MSG (and all other Gurmeet Singh’s movies):
We saved the best for the last. You noticed? Good! Now, what do we say about this one here? You just HAVE TO watch it to believe it. Rohit Vats, in his 0.5 star review of the film in Hindustan Times wrote, ‘Gurmeet Singh is the love charger, ghost-rider, superhero, vigilante, bomber, painter, healer, father…all rolled into one’. Go watch it, today.
On a serious note and as a Disclaimer, we were just kidding. Do not, we repeat, DO NOT watch any of these movies, even if someone holds a gun to your head and asks you to watch them. Prefer to die gracefully and with your sanity intact.