8 WAYS TO IDENTIFY A DELHITE (DILLI WAALA)
I was taught as a child that one should always start something on a positive note. So, let me start by saying, ‘Being judgmental is not a good thing’. That being out of the way, what’s also true is that it’s only human to judge. Remember that TVC, where Alia Bhatt makes a correct guess about Ranvir Singh being from Delhi, when he starts hurling MCs and BCs at someone on the phone? Yeah, that was judging. We all do that, all the time. You see a dark-skinned gentleman in a straight dhoti, and your immediate guess is that he’s a Madrasi (doesn’t matter if he’s from any other state from the South, they all are Madrasis for us). You see a girl wearing jean and kurta with a sling bag hanging on her shoulder and you assume that she’s in JNU. All the Punjabis are loud, all the Biharis are Bhaiyaas, all Mumbaikar are fake, Bengalis argue a lot, Sindhis are not trustworthy. We have been conditioned such, that Judging has unfortunately become a part of our culture.
For a keen observer of human behavior, it becomes easier with time to know who’s who. For the others, we have decided to begin a series of articles, each one talking about the traits and peculiar behavior of people from one region of the country. For the starting episode, it was only befitting that we went with the capital of the country, Delhi. So, here are some of the ways you can instantly know if someone is from the good old…saddi Dilli.
1) DELHI’S LANGUAGE:
Delhites are the proud inventors of a completely different language. It’s a combination of Hindi, English, and invariably a healthy dose of Punjabi. Let’s just call it Hipulish, or Pinglish. Let me give you a sample here. ‘O’ BC, tere father-in-law di road hegi hai?’ You see what I did there? Right? Right?
2) DELHI’S ACCENT:
It’s not only the language, but also the way and the tone that we speak in, which is a ready identifier. A non-Delhite might confuse two guys talking loudly to each other in the middle of the road, to be arguing over something. Well, they aren’t. For all you know, they might be the best of friends, talking about the party last night. It’s just their tone. Delhites are not loud, mind you, they are just more expressive.
3) DELHITES LOVE THEM BIG:
I’m talking about our cars. What did you think, you dirty mind? Anyway, we do like our wheels big. The bigger, the better. Doesn’t matter if the roads are already choked up with millions of vehicles any given time of the day, we have got to drive a Scorpio, Pajero, or anything big ending with a ‘O’. No ‘small car is practical’ shit for us. We are after all, Dilli waaley yaar.
4) DELHITES LOVE THEIR DRINKS MORE:
One thing you should never do is to challenge a Delhite for a binge-drinking session. In all probability, he’ll finish off the entire bottle, before you can finish your second small peg, ask for another half from the bartender, and then pick up the sloshed, senseless you and drop you off to your place, before going to his own. In the remote scenario that he has just started to drink and hasn’t been properly conditioned yet, and he gets drink before you; don’t, I repeat, do not tell him that on his face. He will thrash you up and hurt you in places you didn’t even know existed in your body. You know, telling a Delhite that he’s drunk is like insulting his manhood. Don’t do that, ever; not even if he manages to stand up on his two legs and says, ‘Chaabi de BC. Aaj gaddi tera bhai chalaayega’.
5) DELHITE’S MUSIC:
As I said, they’re not loud, they’re just expressive; and so is our music sense. It ain’t no music, if it ain’t Yo Yo Honey Singh or Badshaah singing. Especially when they’re driving in their Pajero etc. it has to be one of the two, blasting away their so-called melodies at full-volume from the newly-fitted, imported boom-box in the trunks.
6) DELHITES, THE JUGAAD KINGS:
If there is one thing that truly unites the country, it has to be our expertise in make-shift arrangements, popularly known as Jugaad; and Delhites, one has to agree, take the crown in that department. Right from fixing a broken car muffler with a cloth hanger, to using the electric iron to boil water for coffee in the hostel, they’ve got a fix for everything.
7) DELHITES HAVE THE BEST NICKNAMES:
Sonu, Pinky te Bunty di gaddi. If you have ever been to Delhi, I’m sure you would have seen at least one auto or truck with something like this on their bumper sticker. Delhites, undoubtedly have the best nicknames that their parents, so lovingly, use to address them, in front of everybody at that. ‘Oye Bunty, aitthe aa kanjraa’.
8) DELHITE’S LIFE MANTRA:
If I were to identify a Delhite from among a whole crowd, all I would do is to notice their lifestyle. If Goans live their life by ‘Eat, drink and be merry’, Delhites go with the desi version of the same. ‘Khao, piyo aur aish karo’, is the life mantra that Delhites honor. So, the next time you see a guy enjoying his grandeur, more with life than with the money, rest assured that he’s a Dill ka launda.