10 Fail-Proof Ways To Get Dumped
Feeling cramped up in your relationship? Is it pulling you down on all fronts? Don’t see any future with her? Can’t find anything to talk to her anymore? It might be time to bring that relationship to an end. The trick is how to do it, without being the ‘bad guy’. Fret not, my friend; for the help is at hand. Just implement the tips in this article, and pretty soon you’ll see your stuff being mercilessly thrown out of her window.
Note: This would also help you, if you are NOT looking to be dumped and want your relationship to last; in which case, you might want to do the exact opposite.
1. Start paying far more attention and getting really close to her attractive female friends, than you ever did to her. Send them texts and picture messages, and don’t show them to her. This is military-class, Grade-A ammunition.
2. Remember your bachelor life? The wet towel on the bed, the month-long laundry, no bath for days on end, leaving the toilet seat down, the uninhibited burping and farting, roaming around in your undies; bring them all back with a vengeance, and see her scurrying away like a wet pussy…sorry, cat; like a wet cat.
3. Boyfriends are supposed to be possessive, right? After all, it’s our birthright; and it’s time you showed her that how good a boyfriend you are. Call her up every hour, and demand to know where she is, who she is with, and what she is doing. A good idea would be to ask her to put the phone and speaker, and demand to hear the entire conversation.
4. There’s nothing a girl hates more, than her boyfriend not taking her calls. Do just that. Let that phone ring on forever and that Whatsapp message go unread. It’ll quickly start showing effect and soon, you’ll be a free bird.
5. They say that opposites attract. What they don’t tell you is that this attraction is like a rabbit’s lovemaking session; doesn’t last very long. Try and become her exact opposite. Do everything she doesn’t. If she doesn’t smoke or drink, you start doing it in front of her. If she loves non-vegetarian food, say that you’ve decided to turn vegetarian; or better still, a vegan. Eventually, she’ll feel that there is nothing common left between you two, and she’ll start looking for the nearest exit.
6. Be inconsiderate. Start forgetting little things, like picking her up, or a long-planned date. Worst would be, if you forget her birthday. Do it once, and you won’t have to remember it ever again.
7. One of the best qualities girls like in a guy is his sense of humour. Lose it suddenly. Stop laughing completely. Almost carry a gloomy face around, and start complaining about life and its hardships. She’s sure to get bored of you and your complaints, pretty soon.
8. Nothing translates into breakup, sooner than disagreements. If she’s in mood for a movie, insist on going to the zoo. If she wants to have Chinese food, tell her you want Khichdi. If she likes red walls, get the ones in your home painted black.
9. Prove it her that you have lost all ambition, goals, and dreams. It might also be a good idea to lose your faith in humanity while you’re at it. Nobody likes to be around a loser.
10. If everything else fails, there is a Brahma-astra that always works. CHEAT.